Phone Call from an Old Friend

Last night I finally, after a 3 year silence, called up my old friend John. I knew him since my freshman year in high school. We were (like most of my small circle of friends) very close, both spiritually and emotionally. He was the first serious practitioner of Paganism I met...I mean I've met a few but they were more into the fad than the inner workings and lifestyle of it.

But he was hard off. His family had all but disowned him because of his faith, and being very sensitive to people (he has emphatic traits) had a very hard time coping with life. Like many other emotionally abused people he latched onto people too deeply, but needed the contact to feel how life is and felt.

I understood this, as I was at the time a lonely, friendless girl who had a hard time trusting and meeting new friends much less associates. I could read people very clear, and if I had a inkling of trust with you was capable of being a great listener and shoulder. When I saw John again at the local UU church for my first Pagan ritual, I was ecstatic to find him again. Meeting him began my journey that led to my close group of friends, a boyfriend who cared deeply about me, and a freer sense of self in a faith that understood my differences for what they were.

But in the last few years after college ended, I felt tired. Depressed. Wayward, lost and useless. I stopped calling, emailing, and IMing people. The close circle I knew had left to other parts of the country, and I felt totally alone and bombarded by life. But lately as I've been resuming my IM, and joining online social netorks, I'd find people...or rather they'd find me wondering where I went. Most said the same thing...that they were thinking of me and felt I needed the energy. Pagans are very intuitive people lol!

Well I've been IMing John lately off and on, and decided to just plain call. The conversation had me quickly in tears as I started to cry, not out of sadness, but happiness in finding a kindred spirit. He began to note things about me and my spiritual health, things I never told him. That maybe pills weren't my answer as I was avoiding my own empathic mind. Maybe so. But I needed to hear someone, someone to finally say, 'Go your own path. Sometimes going the tried and true way isn't always the right one. Besides, your uniquely different from everyone around you- go the path that suits You. Talking with him made me realize something- that I've never felt so validated, and truly understood in a long, long time.