The Sky.

Is falling. And yet, I'm fine.

Rob decided enough was enough - not with me but with living here. He made a few hints at needing to get out of here. If anything I feel his agitation. This house is just a big downer. So big that everyone wants to leave but are kinda scared to. I mean I want to badly but hate working outside, he wants to get better jobs but they are way farther than in this town. And grandma - she doesn't need to live here - but she's been here since the 60s. I personally think her hording was merely to fill the empty spots of the house, what with her children gone, and my grandfather dead...this house is a misery pit.

There were talks for awhile of people leaving; selling the place. Grandma's friends all live elsewhere. Rob feels demotivated in staying here. I feel claustrophobic even xenophobic at times due to less contact with the world. But Rob finally had the balls of the three of us to say - I'm done.

Now with that declaration, balls are rolling. He knows he can fend on his own on his budget and so will prolly head to his Dads. That is unless I bring in more money. And more than likely I'll have to move back to my Ma's. Now I admit, for about 10 minutes I panicked. Full out mentally panicked. I had just had a few things set up that depend on this address to bring in money (monitoring my mail, and a cable box tester). And then I asked for a miracle.

Recall that job on Elance I really wanted but got outbid on? Well the person who was originally hired had to bail. Then a seemingly lame pic tester job became more. Add on the random windfalls lately...

I want out of here too. I want to be contributing and not failing. Lets hope a true miracle happens.