Trying out something old.

I avoided it, honestly. I was horrified at it. I haven't ridden it in over 10 years.

I did not want to ride the bus.

The bus isn't really all that. It's an over glorified tour bus with strangers. Strangers that possibly have never been on a tour bus (nor be allowed on in their physical state for some). But I dreaded it.

Was it the people? No, honesty it wasn't my disdain for being around a group of strangers. In fact I've made myself go out to fight this compulsion often. I refuse to be as much a shut-in introvert as I was at grandma's house.

Was it the fact that at one time or another I had a car? I lost my embarrassment of losing that car a long time ago. In retrospect, it was freeing and enlightening or where my live was heading and what baggage it represented to me in how bad it had gotten. I resented that car honestly and liked it to taking care of a metal baby. But nope. Not it.

Was it the fear of getting lost, or worse, ending up in a very bad place? After ma gave me an unused track phone, she said she was worried of if I ended up in a bad hood in that area. Thanks for making me feel safe, Ma. But no. That wasn't it.

Was it that everyone around you has a car. Okay maaaybe this one. But everyone had to work. I was raining but making that check was necessary.

It was the time spent that got to me. The fact that in my efficient brain that trip - the way up and back, the time at the office - all would be at least a 5 hour investment. This rankled on my nerves as I love getting shit done as fast as possible. And it was raining.

But I had to remind myself; I chose to let go of the car. I chose to admit I HATE driving and refused to do so again. And taxi's cost an arm and a leg. And have you seen tax drivers drive? They are crazy. And break every rule ever. And so last week, I rode the bus - to be con'd.